Melting (or, why Nanowrimo is kicking my butt)

[azhure]

Nanowrimo total, as of yesterday: just a smidge over 9,000 words.

It’s humid today, which seems to be the weather pattern that really kicks my butt at the moment.  As a result, I’m finding it very difficult to actually focus on getting any writing done.

I’m also beginning to think that Nanowrimo is a goal that’s not going to be met for me this year.  It’s not even a matter of whether I can get 50k written in a month.  Hell, I could sit down and spend a couple of solid days just churning out rubbish to make word count.

The thing is that I don’t want to churn out rubbish.  I’m enjoying exploring a new fictional world, but it feels like I haven’t developed enough of the world itself to be able to write anything that’s going to be of any use.  I just don’t see the point in churning out words that I’m going to toss in a few month’s time.

And yes, I’m aware that this is the same discussion I’ve been having with myself about whether to do Nanowrimo or not in the first place.  I think it can be a very fine thing – it’s a good way to generate a zero draft of part of a novel.  It’s a good way to just play with words, to see if you can write 50k words in a month.  I’ve “won” it twice before, so I know I can do that.

But is doing it just because I can a good enough reason?  Yes, I want to write this draft, but I also want it to be a useful draft.

I might keep on pushing forward.  This might just have to be a lost day of writing.

But I might just pull back a little, spend some more time working on building the foundation of this novel.

Mirrored from Stephanie Gunn.

Comments

[callistra.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure that 'fun' and 'workable draft' are always going to be the same goal. Why not just slow down and play with words more? Tack a new beginning right where you are? Just *play*

As a society I think we've forgotten the value of play
:-)

Why do you want it to be a useful draft anyway? Shouldn't some things be ditchable just for the pleasure of it?

[azhure.livejournal.com]

You know, I think you've hit the nail on the head. Not only just about society, but about me as an individual who has lost the value of play in a big way.

Pretty much everything I do, I want to have value and use. I don't remember the last time I did something just because I enjoyed it, without actually wanting it to be productive and useful. Maybe it's high time that I did something about that.

[callistra.livejournal.com]

I thought I might have, because I get the same way. Sometimes I need to consciously stop, and remind myself that not everything has to be productive.

I was hoping to do Nano this year to remind myself that it's not all work, it can be fun too. Unfortunately, I just don't have the strength to add it to my list of current necessities.
:-)

But going for a long time without fun is far, far too easy to do. When Baby comes, you're going to be so very busy. There's amazing, amazing rewards, but you won't be able to have fun in quite the same way.

[detritus2099.livejournal.com]

Well you'll have some practice at playing over the next few years

[creatrix]

I agree with callistra. Every time I've seen you comment about not doing NaNo, you always say you know you're capable of "winning" and that you write all the time, which is fine... but who defines what's rubbish? Why can't writing just be for the sake of writing?

Besides, I've read first (and second, and third) drafts of "non-NaNo" stories that were just as flawed as NaNo attempts. :) No story is perfect, regardless of the time spent on it.

[azhure.livejournal.com]

Well, for me writing *isn't* just about writing. It's my job, and there are a whole lot of complex issues tied up with it for me, health issues being the number one thing. But that's a topic for a completely different post. I think that a lot of other stuff that I've been dealing with has been bleeding into the Nano/not-Nano thoughts in my head, to be honest.

My Nano posts are only ever about me and my process. Nano can be a very fine thing for people (and it has been in the past for me - as I was hoping that it would be again. And maybe it still will be - I guess only the rest of the month will tell.) And as for defining rubbish, again, that's only my own definition and only my own perspective of my own work and process.

[creatrix]

I know writing is your job, but jobs can also be fun. I'm sure most best-selling authors today didn't say "Well, there goes my plan to be a heart surgeon; I guess I'll have to dust off that novel." :) They had fun with their stories along the way and scrapped a lot of things.

I use NaNo to work on ideas I haven't puzzled out, because the time frame doesn't allow me to second-guess myself. Editing comes later. (In some cases never, if I don't like the story, but that has nothing to do with NaNo, per se.)

Maybe I've just seen the "I don't see the point in senselessly churning out words" argument too many times from NaNo detractors (& I know that's not what you're aiming at in this post), but I don't think any words a writer writes are ever useless. Even if the only thing you learn is "Wow, that was a crappy idea, and I'm never touching it again", you've learned something you didn't know before.

* = As always when I talk of writing in general, 'you' is meant in the general sense.

[lifeislike.livejournal.com]

Seems to me, since you're already a daily writer in the habit of finishing works, NaNo is almost redundant for you. If you treat it as an exercise, sure it has its benefits. But you seem to be beyond needing that exercise. So why deal with the word count stress?

For those of us who like to write but don't do it enough, NaNo is a good kick in the butt. I always thought the whole purpose of it is to get a writer writing, to kickstart a habit. You don't really need that part of it. But then again, it's always good to win something. :)

[sidheblessed.livejournal.com]

I don't know that you need to do Nano, except for fun. You already write full time and have already proven to yourself that you can do it. Nano is really just to see if you can do it, a good novel is not really the expected result (though I know people have turned their Nano novel into something of merit.)

In other words, unless you just want the fun of writing without the pressure of quality, you don't need to do Nano.